“Choose people who choose you.” This is a simple yet powerful statement, as it speaks the truth — a truth that ‘people change with time,’ while the faithful ones remain as grounded as a tree during tough times. Choosing someone isn’t like randomly believing in someone’s lie, instead, it is a lifelong process that takes honesty, loyalty, and unconditional faith in each other that says “If you get lost in the dark”, “I’ll be there for you.”
In fact, it is a way of life that revolves around the concept that whatever we put out comes back to us in abundance, when we choose selflessness over selfishness, when humility becomes an integral part of our lives than our larger-than-life egos. Simply put, “when we choose people who choose us”, we are actually creating a transparent line that isn’t built on lies but on a never-ending cycle of trust and unconditional love. Hence, it is imperative to be around those people who see the best in us, who enjoy our company and never give up on us no matter what situation we are in.
3 Reasons Why Choose People Who Choose You
1) They love you for who you are
People who genuinely care about you won’t ever downgrade your self-worth, instead will help you to become your best version. Regardless of how challenging their own life becomes, they always come forward to lend you a helping hand. They choose you over their Egoisticness or self-centeredness, and love you for, “who you are”, not what the world wants you to be.
2) They motivate you to achieve your dreams
Unlike the naysayers, the real ones support you in your life journey, help you financially and exhibit patience when thing don’t go according to the plan.
3) They give constant support
Whether you are preparing for an interview, applying for visa or simply trying to get over your past, the loyal people give consistent support no matter what happens. They choose you and your happiness over their excuses. And that’s exactly how we all should be. Because, when we shower care, we get the same in return. In fact, that’s how the universe principle works. The more we show gratitude, compassion and admiration, more we will feel blessed and complete. Now:
How To Identify The People Who Don’t Choose You?
Have you felt like, as if you were lost in a herd of people who say “we care for you” or “we love you” and suddenly disappear — leaving you dumbstruck? If you had been through that, the congrats, you are one step closer to identifying the people who don’t choose you or in short “don’t want to be with you.”
1) They make excuses
If you’re hanging out with people who pretend to be loyal and honest with you, but at the time making excuses (often filled with lies), then it’s a time to wake up! Because, these people aren’t your well wishers rather a wolf in a sheep’s cloth. Just ask yourself, if your friend or a partner doesn’t pick your call or simply cut you call in an abrupt manner, then what do you think what exactly they’re up to? It is simply a way of expressing their unlikeness and unfaithfulness towards you. They’re itself giving you a clue that they’re fooling you, cheating you, and looking for a time to leave you completely. In simple words, they don’t want to be with you, they’re just using you, your emotions, time, and off course, money.
2) They hide things from you
Unlike the loyal people, the disloyal ones hide things from you. They use their brain more than their heart, and play smart when you’re around, just to make you feel as if they care. While in actual, it’s exactly the opposite. It is one of their manipulation techniques to extract personal information from you, and using it against you when the time calls.
3) They choose others over you
If you ever been in a relationship, then you probably know how painful it is to see your partner giving infinite attention to other man or women, then you “yourself”. Doesn’t it feel as if you’re walking on a hot coal like as if you’ve got it, but in reality you’re just playing yourself? People who really choose you, they willingly step on hot coal to prove their worthiness and unconditional loyalty they’ve for you. They’ll always be there for you no matter how strenuous and terrifying life becomes.
5 Ways To Choose People Who Choose You
1) Seek out people who have same values as yours
When you choose people with the similar interests or passion as yours, you naturally get attached to them, and find it easy to put your trust and faith on them. On the opposite, if someone doesn’t have the same values as yours, then things start to take a different turn, everything begins to happen on a superficial level, lacking originality—that obvious isn’t the best practice in order to grow the relationship further.
2) Choose loyal and trustworthy people
People who are loyal and trustworthy, they work as a pain killer in your life. Their loyalty runs through their veins, and will never betray your trust no matter how much money someone offers to reveal your secrets. They take you seriously and support you in every step of the way.
3) Choose people who are real
When you meet the right people in your life, you will feel an instant connection, you begin to feel secure around them, as if you’ve known them for a long time. You don’t even try to be perfect around them, your real personality comes out naturally—making you feel relaxed and completed. They show extreme patience when you’re going through rough phases of your life, and take care of you unconditionally. They love you for you are, never put you down and always wish the best for you. Because in their eye, you’re special, and they don’t want to lose you at any cost.
4) Seek out people who fear to lose you
If you’ve someone in your life who can’t imagine their life without you, then never leave that person. Because, only that person would help you when you’re at the lowest point of your life. They could be your parents, friends, siblings or someone whom you’ve known since a long time. Let your guts and intuition identify the people who really want to be around you, loves to hang out with you, and enjoy your company at the most.
5) Choose people who are mindful and non-judgmental
Open minded people think from a wider perspective and always consider others point of view before making any judgement. Being around open-minded people feels like a home, because you don’t need to prove anything and you can be simply be “YOU” now —-without any judgements and blames. You can freely walk around them and can sense a true freedom that you have always yearned for.
Who doesn’t want to feel respected? Well, you might wonder why I asked this question at first, because it’s evident that everyone loves to be acknowledged and respected. It is an innate human need, after all! But unfortunately, sometimes things don’t unfold as we wish them to be. Because, more often people don’t reciprocate the same level of respect like we offer to them. They just pretend they respect us, but in times of need, they just walk away.
As a result, we start to distance ourselves from those people and rarely ever talk or meet them in person. Because, respect is a core part of our being, and without it, we hardly would have ever evolved this much. But, as much as respect is crucial, so is identifying the signs of being respected as well.
Here are 7 Signs That Show People Respect You
1) They Are Transparent With You
People who genuinely respect you, they find no reason to hide anything from you. They adore you for your straightforwardness and honest nature because you have nothing to hide. They trust you because they know you will listen to them in tough times and won’t turn against them for any reason. In short, you mean something to them, and it’s a sign that people respect you and value you.
2) You Respect Yourself
When you respect your job, your time, and your relationship,” people find it intriguing and irresistible. For instance, your boss wants you to work on weekend days, but you’ve promised your family for the outing, so you clearly say “no” to your boss, because here you’re respecting your family’s time and yours too. And that’s what makes people fall for you, because you’ve set your own boundaries, and no one can just walk over you or use you for their own advantage.
3) People Respect Your Boundaries
When we create healthy boundaries in our personal and professional lives, we are actually protecting ourselves from getting hurt and misused. And guess what? Most people don’t realize that! They just cross our boundaries without any intimation and eventually end up wondering: Why did they behave so inappropriately? But people who genuinely know us, they won’t enter into our lives without intimation; in fact, they ask us first if we’re available, or they simply drop a message saying, “Call me when you’re free.” So, that’s one of the signs that shows people respect you unconditionally.
Moreover, we can also understand the significance of boundaries with this example:
“You just met a guy who you had first thought was shy, but when you get close to him while maintaining a healthy boundary, you come to know how talkative and lively he is.”
So, here, when you maintained a healthy boundary, You simply allowed that person to open up to you and build a layer of truth and respect.
4) They Respect Your Time
We all have got the same amount of time on this planet, and if someone doesn’t respect your time and efforts, then they are probably just using you for their own advantage.
For instance, you’ve given your girlfriend a time to reach Sharp at 8 a.m. on PVR to watch a movie, let’s say “Kong: Skull Island,” but at the last moment she says, “I am going to meet my cousin,” and she actually did that. So, what do you think what was she doing? She’s just using your time, your emotions, and your money. Here, she gave more importance to their family members than you.
With this we can understand how it is crucial to have people in our lives who not just respect our time, but also the emotions we invested on them.
On the contrary, people who actually respect you, they will never let your time go to waste. In fact, they will first ask you, if you’re available or if you’re not that busy “can we talk”?
Following these practices, they aren’t just respecting your time, but respecting their time too.
5) They Never Say Anything Behind Your Back
People who respect you will never talk sh*t behind your back. No matter what conditions others put on them, they will always be faithful to you. Because they understand the cost of betrayal and what they will lose if they cross their boundaries.
Thus, people who care for you will never betray your trust and will think 1000 times before uttering a single word against you. But if, in case you find them bitching behind your back, then it’s better to leave them for their own good. Because living with the fake ones can deteriorate your mental and physical health.
6) They Don’t Try To Control You
Most people have a tendency to control every other aspect of our lives. These people take our decency and honesty for granted, and find every possible way to dominate us to get what they want. They may even use different tactics to change our mind including emotional manipulation, gas lighting, past traumas, societal fears and even making us believe we are not worth a sh…t.
These people can be your friends, co-workers, family members, and even your life partner — who won’t leave a single stone unturned to suck the life out of you. Whereas, the people who adores you, they never show controlling behaviour. Instead, they give you enough space to breathe and help you get the most of your life.
7) They Love To Hang Out With You
People who value you, they enjoy your company as much as you enjoy theirs. And the reason why they do that is they feel safe and comfortable around you. Unlike the soul suckers, they find you as a life saviour who knows how to make them feel complete in their ownselves.
You even might wonder what’s so special about you that’s making them talk to you, and spend time with you. So, here, most probably, their vibe is matching with yours, or you may have helped them in some situations, or maybe they just like your calm personality. Whatever is that they like about you, if that’s what making them happy, then most likely, they respect you and value your presence in their life.
There is a beautiful quote about self-love that says, “Love yourself first before you love someone else.” The same goes with relationships! When you genuinely love yourself, you’ll wholeheartedly love another person more than you love yourself. This is where the foundation of strong marriages is built. This is where self-love, trust, and loyalty blossom. This is where both partners accept themselves as they are, without any fear or regret, and eventually unite as one.
However, it is often observed that marriages become burdensome when one partner refuses to accept themselves as they are, knowingly or unknowingly causing distress for their significant other. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize self-love in a relationship; only then can you genuinely love other person. As without it, you won’t feel complete, and this deficiency can lead to the path of destruction, resulting in breakups or the dissolution of marriages.
While it may sound like a harsh truth, but that’s what it is with zero filters. But wait! Just as there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, there is also a path to loving yourself and building confidence in relationships.
5 Ways To Love Yourself and Be Confident in a Relationship
1) AcceptYourself
Being in a relationship is like walking on a thin rope that stands the test of time. It’s built on the foundation of trust, respect and unwavering commitment towards each other. But, before getting involved in any relationship, it is quite important to accept your current self-first. As if you don’t do that, then it won’t only cause you trouble, but to your other half too. So, loving yourself first before loving someone else is the key for long lasting relationships and endless happiness.
Wondering How To Accept Yourself?
A)Say good bye to your past
If you really want to accept yourself, then have peace with your past and say “hold on” to your future. Staying stuck in the past won’t do you any good. But will only steal your happiness in return. Focus on the present, as present is the key to acceptance—acceptance to who you are right now, and what you can do to become a better version of yourself.
B) Practice self-compassion
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, we’re all just a wandering soul in a body made of flesh and bones. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes. Forgive for not being able to achieve your dream or fulfilling a promise you made to someone. There was a reason behind that. You know that! Don’t you? So, let it go. Remember, life is a gift, so cherish it and embrace it. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?
C)Awareness is important
Do you ever feel those butterflies fluttering in your stomach, as if you’ve done something wrong? You know you haven’t committed any crimes, haven’t scolded anyone, and have always chosen the path of truth. Yet, you feel as if you’re lost in the midst of the crowd. Have you ever experienced that? If yes, then listen up! This feeling often arises when we place too many expectations on ourselves.
These expectations often stem from the world’s perceptions of love, money, sex, power, perfectionism, and more. Additionally, the environment in which you were born and raised can significantly influence your perception of the world, potentially having a negative impact on your life, decisions, choices, and your sense of what’s right. Therefore, it is crucial for us to accept our current selves and become more aware of the actual impact of the TV and media industries, which are constantly shaping our lives every single second of the day.
2) Welcome Freedom & Independence in Your Relationship
Every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be days of sorrow and pain, and there will be days of love and happiness. But if you’re wondering what’s that factor that actually makes relationships work, then hold on to your curiosity. A key to a happy and long-lasting marriage is none other than freedom and independence. If you’ve ever seen a bird in a cage, then you must’ve observed how desperately it tries to open the cage and be free. If you can relate to this feeling, then you may understand how crucial it is to embrace freedom in the relationship—by accepting each other’s shortcomings, no matter what situation you both are in.
Remember, successful relationships and marriages thrive when both partners respect each other’s boundaries and independence. Mutual understanding is the key to making these unions work, but it’s a process that doesn’t happen overnight. It requires a lifelong effort until both fully accept themselves as they are, without any regret or remorse.
3) Transparency is Key To a Successful Relationship
Always be transparent with your partner. Never hide anything, because even the smallest mistake can lead to a cycle of misunderstandings, trust issues, and potential breakups. Therefore, choosing transparency, regardless of how you’re feeling at the moment, is the key to a lasting and fulfilling marriage. Remember, your partner is the one with whom you’re going to spend your whole life, so it’s essential to respect your marriage and build healthy communication by embracing transparency and honesty.
“A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.” – Dalai Lama
4) Remember Tough Times Don’t Last Tough People Do
There is a common misconception that marriage significantly impacts our sense of individuality and freedom. However, this isn’t entirely true. While it may have some influence, it doesn’t necessarily diminish them. In fact, being in a relationship offers numerous advantages. At first it helps both partners to work as a team when life gets tough. They stand by each other, becoming a beacon of hope—helping them find their own individuality and emerging as a strong union destined for the long haul.
5) Life is Too Short to Hold Grudges
Nobody has ever achieved a greater sense of satisfaction by holding a grudge against their partner. So, forgive yourself and your other half for their mistakes. Recall those moments when you were together during tough times and how you both overcame them by holding each other’s hands. Focus on each other’s strengths, and you will see how your lives blossom like a flower.
Moreover, if your partner’s mistake is unavoidable, then choose the right path to make peace with your partner. We all have the same amount of time on this planet, so why waste it by dwelling on past grudges? Find a way out—no matter how difficult it may appear to be. Remember, there is always a way!
Conclusion
The key to a successful marriage or relationship is accepting yourself as you are, and focusing on the present. Letting go what you cannot change and welcoming what’s unseen. Respecting each other’s individuality, and working on to improve each other’s lives. Fostering respect and admiration—by knowing that life is too short to hold grudges—accepting each other’s flaws and being selfless toward each other for a lifetime.
